We won't sleep together?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
