Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
