I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
