Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
