Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
