he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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