How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
