OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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