Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
