Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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