Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
