Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
