while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
