My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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