Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
