No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
