He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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