Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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