We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
