I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
