I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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