I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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