I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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