belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
