we're blogging at a bar
return my video game
wat bout pragnant strippers??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
