finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
