I think I died a long time ago.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
