So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
