ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
