my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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