Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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