Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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