My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
