Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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