hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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