somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
