HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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