I heard we made out
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
