2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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