I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
