it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
