i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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