Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
