I accidentally had phone sex last night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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