Im at strip club and am horny
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
