then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
