there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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