just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
