My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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