God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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