she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
